Delivered March 19th, 2013
Introduction
We are gathered here to remember, honor and mark the passing of Esther Bauman Wasinger.
Esther was born January 28th, 1936 to Charles Jacob Bauman and Lillie Mae Hunt. At a young age, Esther’s life was marked by tragedy as she watched her beloved mother suffer and pass away from cancer. Other difficult and painful trials would come throughout her life including painful foot problems, cancer, back problems, organ failure, and finally heart attack. There are so many that none of us can accurately tally the doctor visits and procedures. But, Esther rarely spoke of those trials even though they at times weighed heavily upon her mind. When asked how she was doing, Esther would frequently reply “Oh, I’m fine. I have a few aches and pains, but I’m fine.” Sometimes she would say this even while undergoing painful therapy or treatments.
Yet, in spite of all the struggles in her life, Esther was an accomplished artist who has created many beautiful works of oil and canvas. She was intelligent, musical, and had a green thumb. Her paintings are all treasured family heirlooms. She was also musical and loved to sing. She was the music director in her church and for many years sang solos. She loved to garden when she could and was a great cook. Her cinnamon rolls are a family treasured memory, especially on Christmas mornings. Her German meals on Christmas Eve will be forever missed. She had a way of making Christmas special, setting out candy, making ginger bread houses from scratch, baking special Christmas cookies in large batches, and ensuring that the advent calendars were posted.
She was a great cook and always ready to fix food for her family. Often asking “Can I fix you something to eat?” or “You hungry son?”
Her youngest son, upon returning from an LDS mission in Japan commented that it was very difficult to find Mexican food in Japan. Esther asked, “You want me to make you some Mexican food son?” The next day, the freezer contained a month’s worth of frozen burritos she had made. We will miss her pizza casserole, beef stroganoff, enchiladas, rouladen, homemade pizzas and pies.
Esther lived a full and often turbulent life. She experienced love, travel, family, miracles, art, and faith. She also knew turmoil, disappointment, abandonment, loss, sadness and loneliness. The hallmark of her life is her will to keep going even when the path forward wasn’t clear.
Esther suffered a heart attack, and in the following days her health slowly deteriorated. With her six children surrounding her, and her husband, stepchildren and other family close by, Esther Bauman Wasinger passed away on March 15th, 2013 at 5:30AM.
The characteristics of Esther
Esther was slight of stature, but had an extraordinary will. She was able to bear incredible burdens of body and spirit. At times she would buckle under those burdens. But then, she’d get back up and keep going. Esther’s life is a portrait of resilience, persistence, tenacity, self-sufficiency and faith. She had a wry, contagious sense of humor. She loved to play Rook, a favorite family card game, and she was good at it. Some of us think she cheated but couldn’t seem to ever catch her in the act.
Prayer and Faith
First and foremost, Esther had a deep and abiding faith in God.
As her children gathered around Esther in her last hours, a request was made for one of the children to pray together for us and for mom. As the children looked for each other’s hands to hold and were about to start praying, Esther’s voice started in prayer. Some of the children were confused, others smiled. When everyone realized what was happening, all bowed their heads and listened. Mom’s praying!
In her prayer, she asked that her children come together and be strong as a family. She talked about how important the family organization was to help us support each other and become better people and build faith in God. It was a special prayer from her heart. One her children will always remember not because of the eloquence of her words, not because of the tenor of her voice, but because of the tenderness, power and sincerity with which it was spoken.
When her children were young , Esther established a tradition on Saturday nights of getting ready for Sunday. It was a production. We were to get our Sunday best out and ready to wear. If there was ironing to do, we did it Saturday night. Shoes were found and shined. Ribbons were readied. And because the church was two hours away, lunches prepared so everyone would have something to eat on the way home. If you are going to worship Heavenly Father, then put on your best and be presentable. On Sunday mornings, we would all get dressed and pile into the VW bug: all eight of us. Kirk and Kat sat knee to knee in the back window space. Becky, Leah and LuAnn sat in the back seat and David sat on Mom’s lap. Like the proverbial clown car, the German people loved trying to count the kids in the VW. We’d see them with their hand held up, index finger extended, mentally tallying the kids in the bug. Esther made sure her kids showed up to church, presentable, and ready to worship even if we had to cram into a tiny car and drive two hours to get there.
Throughout her life she would implore her children to pray and have faith. When of the many terrible tragedies would befall those around her, Esther would say “It’s going to be OK. Just keep praying. It’ll be alright.” When talking to her children, especially those far away, she would always say, “I keep you in my prayers. I pray for you every day.” As with so many things we come to regard lightly or take for granted, those few words became common to our ears. We will miss hearing those comforting words in times of trouble, but we also know we have an advocate with the Father in our mother. One wonders if maybe the reason that our Heavenly Father is always so mindful of us is because his ears are full of the voices of mothers reminding Him of our needs. Esther’s voice will no doubt be among those heavenly voices imploring God to watch over her children and family.
Sensitivity to Others
Later in life, Esther would remarry to Felix Wasinger. Felix and his family took her in, adopted her and gave her a place of security, safety and love. Esther wanted to love Felix’s family as much as they would allow her. At the same time, she was very respectful of the position of Mildred, the late mother of Felix’s children. Esther knew the place Mildred held in her children’s hearts and she in no way wanted to intrude on that. Shortly after marrying Felix and meeting Esther, Felix’s grandchildren began calling her Grandma. Esther approached Felix’s daughter Laura and told her that she understood if she didn't want her children to call her Grandma because that was Mildred's place and in no way did she want to hurt or diminish Mildred’s memory. But together she and Laura came to agreement that no child can be loved too much and decided that was OK. Esther reveled in the adventures and accomplishments of the grand kids. She was always encouraging and affirming.
Karen told how much it touched her that Esther always introduced her as "my friend", not step daughter or Felix' daughter but my friend.
Esther loved to garden, but out of sensitivity to Mildred, when she took over Mildred’s garden, being respectful and thoughtful, she made sure she didn't uproot, transplant, or discard any thing that was "special" to Mildred. Esther loved and cared for Felix and became his invaluable companion over their married life time. They became fused as one more obviously as Esther's memory slipped and Felix's mobility diminished. During Esther's last hospitalization their loving gestures and tender jokes gave evidence to their love.
Esther had a side that few outside her immediate family witnessed. She was a tender toucher. Giving soft and loving embraces, placing her hand on the face of her children, loving kisses on the cheek and licking a lock of stubborn hair down. She would hold her children in church, or when they suffered loss or tragedy. Not everyone witnessed this side of Esther. But those who did know a tender and loving mother that taught them by example how to give a gentle touch and share a kind word.
Sense of Humor
Esther had a great sense of humor. She loved to laugh. She loved a good joke, an irony or a simple pun. Even in the final hours of her life, Esther’s sense of humor kept us smiling and laughing. When one of her daughters leaned down to kiss her and asked “Do you know my name mama?” Esther gently placed a finger on her lower lip and made a face as if she was trying hard to remember. A face that everyone recognized as mom acting befuddled.
Esther laughed frequently. She loved the humor of family, children and friends. She loved to have her family close. In the hospital, as Esther grew near passing, her children all knew that the best thing she could hear was her children talking, reminiscing and softly laughing as we remembered funny stories of mom. It’s the sound we wanted her to hear before she passed. She loved that the most.
Self Sufficiency
Esther was tough minded and tenacious. She could often be heard telling her children things like “You have to just get over it and move on.”, “You just have to do your homework. It’s not easy, but you have to just do it.” or “You can sit there and complain or you can get moving.” and “Just eat your peas, they won’t bite you back.” She taught her children that they weren’t going to get much pity from the world and the best thing you can do is keep pushing through.
Esther didn’t just talk about resilience and tough mindedness, she lived the way she taught her children to live. Of the many stories that can be told about Esther’s resilience, none so fully captures that element of her personality as the story of the first time she transited the Atlantic to be stationed with the military in Germany.
In those days, the military would sometimes transfer families on slow boats across the Atlantic. Esther was pregnant and prone to seasickness. She had three young children. She boarded the transit boat with kids in tow only to experience extremely rough seas on the way. In fact, the seas became so rough that the only way to keep her kids in the metal bunk beds was to tie them in. Seasick, pregnant, morning sick and responsible for three young children, Esther pushed through. This is only one of countless similar stories.
Last Few Hours
In the few days before passing, Esther had some marvelous experiences. She witnessed the reunification of her children around her, something that had not happened for over 30 years. She experienced pain, fear, peace and several close brushes with the veil. In one case, Esther raised her arms and gently moved them around. The nurse asked what she was doing. The answer came “She’s leading the music in church.” Once she asked if it was her time. When the honest answer was given that yes, she’s dying, Esther replied “Well, ya gotta go sometime!” Later, on several occasions, she would raise her hand and wave at the ceiling. When asked, “Who you waving at momma?” she would say “It’s mother. Hi momma.” Yet on another occasion she would witness Christmas lights and say “The Christmas Lights are so beautiful.”
Esther’s parting was marked by some sadness, but mostly by the joyful reunion of family in her presence, wishing her well, sharing their love with her, giving her kisses, touching her hands and feet, and comforting her. We are grateful for the loving nurses who so tenderly and gently helped Esther to pass in peace and relative comfort while comforting her family. We’re grateful for the skillful doctors who did all that they could to help Esther. Esther’s children are so grateful to Felix and his family for loving her and taking care of her in her last years. We’re grateful that Esther is now resting from the temporal challenges of sorrow, pain and exhaustion and reunited with her mother and father. We’re grateful for Esther’s faith and example.
We love you Esther.
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