Embarrassing Moments : Gene Juarez

The following story may be real or partially imagined, depending on who you are.

I recently visited the local Gene Juarez salon to purchase a gift certificate for Amanda to have a makeup consultation. She just turned 12...

First of all, for a guy, or, a guy like me, going into a Gene Juarez is a... Challenge. I don't want any of my friends getting any ideas. Like, "Kirk goes there?"

No sirree. I go to the barber shop, thank you and have the hair style, or lack there of to prove it. So, what's a guy to do?

Anyway, I rode my motorcycle over on the way home. I didn't plan it that way, but serendipity was smiling on me that day. After checking the area surrounding the entrance for the absence anyone I know, I was able to walk in with full motorcycle riding gear, including helmet as though to announce to everyone, I'm a manly man. I'm here only on a mission for my daughter.

There were women walking around everywhere with little fawn colored half robes. Man! I feel uncomfortable there. Visions of the running of the bulls and I'm the bull. Anyway, I walk up to the desk with my best game face and say, "I'd like to buy that thing where someone explains to my daughter how to put on make up." The young woman at the counter looks confused for a minute and then, like a light came on in her head and lit up the whole space, she gets it. She nicely explains to me, like a kindergarten teacher to her class, "Oh, you'd like to buy a gift certificate for a con-sul-ta-tion?"

All I can muster is a mumbled "Yeah".

"Oh, you'll have to go to that cashier. She can make one for you."

I think, "Great, more time in here."

The other cashier was helping someone, so I waited where I was. In the mean time, women kept walking by and giving me slight looks. I felt like I was standing in a women's locker room, except I was naked instead of them.

Anyway, as I was waiting there, a woman came up and stood next to me. The counter isn't that big and she made it look smaller.

There were a few moments of awkward silence. I gave my best confident smile. She wasn't impressed and seemed to be giving off some sort of anti-man pheremone. My cashier was very busy still and nobody was helping this woman, so I thought I'd break the tension and say something.

I said "Hello".
She looked at me and said nothing, simply looked me over in my smashing motorcycle gear, helmet in hand, and sneered a smile.
Somehow, it slipped out, "Wow! They really do wonders here, don't they. You look great."
She deadpanned, "They haven't started my treatments yet."

Ever ask someone when the baby's due and they're not pregnant?

More silence followed and time slowed to a crawl as I tried to look nonchalant. I was relieved when the cashier became available. I quickly made my purchase and barely escaped within an inch of my life.

Why DO I say these things? Smalltalk was never one of my strengths, especially in stressful circumstances with a hostile croud...

But, Amanda was worth every penny and sneer...

Thankfully, I only have two more daughters under the age of twelve and one of them seems more interested in camping and hiking than makeup...