Well, this one is all about the travails I'm afraid. Today was my worst day of the trip so far. It started at 3am. I had to get up early because my flight was at 6:30am and I was told that it takes a long time to get through security in Israel. Little did I know...
I arrived at the airport at 4am. There was another "veep" person there this time. She took me through some of the bypasses and I was thinking, cool, maybe I'll get through pretty quick.
No such luck. The local sub was supposed to have given me a letter that would smooth the checkin. The letter they gave me was worthless and apparently I wasn't on "the list". I never figured out what the list was because everytime I asked, I would get no answer or a very vague one at best.
Long story short, I went through 5 different metal detectors, was taken to a private screening room where some guy felt every part of my body for metal, they unpacked my bag and I repacked it at least 4 times, I was asked constant questions like "Why are you here?" My answers were simple. "I'm here at the request of people who live here to talk about Microsoft." A couple of the replies really puzzled me, like, "Couldn't you have done it on the web?" What kind of question is that? Well, maybe, but, we didn't, so what difference does it make? Anyway, I felt like a criminal. They stuck their sensor wand all through my clothes, tossed them around to where I ended up having to refold and repack multiple times. They touched the wand to my shoes, then to my dirty underwear, dirty socks and then proceeded to put it in the bag that held my razor and toothbrush etc. That's when I started getting annoyed. That was about 2 hours into the interogation and multiple searches. The security person said, "Oh, don't worry sir, there's no dirt on the pad." So, in the mean time, they keep putting this pad all over my stuff and then sticking it on the sensor where other people are putting the pad that they've been sticking in other people's underwear and dirty socks.
Then, to top it all off, they took my phone and charger because the battery was dead and I couldn't get it to turn on. They put it in a separate box and said they'd put it on a different airplane. They told me that I could retrieve it at the lost and found in Madrid. Just like that, my phone is gone. I asked if they would reimburse me for anything that is lost. Coulda guessed that one, right? "No!"
So, after a few more minutes of this, they finally decide to let me on the plane. Only letting me go at the very last moment. My "veep" helper kept trying to pack my stuff. That only irritated me more. She's just tossing it in like it's really going to fit that way. Arggg. Then she calls a cart to pick us up and the guy is late. I could have walked there faster, but the "veep" person insisted that I wait, as if riding on the cart would help me feel better about spending 2.5 hours in security being groped and my personal belongings handled by multiple people. When the cart came, my "veep" handler told me to hurry and get on. I did, and the driver of the cart yells at me because I sat on his coat. By this time I'm in total shock. I guess he didn't expect me to actually sit on the cart, but rather float above it somehow. I told my "veep" handler thanks for all her help and that she'd really chosen a winner here (referring to the cart driver). He jumps out of the cart and yells at me. "You don't like? Get another driver!" So, I started to get up and just walk to the gate. This really wasn't worth it. My "veep" handler yells at the guy in Hebrew and somehow got him to get back in. We start driving toward the gate and another driver comes up. Keep in mind, it's past 6:30 and my flight was supposed to leave at 6:30. So, my driver starts talking to the other driver. Then they decide to switch. Mind you, I could have been on the plane by this time...
Anyway, I finally get to the gate. Get on the airplane and there's somebody sitting in my assigned seat. Or so I thought. I asked him, are you in seat 2B? He said, no and this isn't seat 2B. It was seat 3B. For some reason the row numbers started at 2. Anyway, I said, sorry, just been through 2.5 hours of security and am a little flustered. Then he says "Well, your country makes it just as bad!" Out of nowhere. I'm again, totally surprised and I look at him and say "First of all how do you know what country I'm from? Would that be the country that gives billions of dollars to your country? Would that be the country that is your only international ally and protector?"
I didn't hear much back after that. He seemed angry and ashamed simultaneously. Mind you, I was on a plane full of Israelies. But, frankly, by that point, I'd had enough of the lot. I was so upset I didn't sleep or eat on the 5.5 hour flight.
I land in Madrid. The passport control is moving so slow, it takes 1.5 hours for roughly 30 people to get through in my line. The immigration officer was looking at passports with a magnifying glass, taking her sweet time. When I finally make it through, it takes me another hour to find where the lost and found is.Turns out, El Al doesn't have one so I had to go to the Iberia one. They say they can't help me, but will look for the box with my phone in it. I have to take it up with El Al and hand me a paper with a number on it. By this time, I give up and find my way to the exit. Try to catch a taxi, but only have the Amex Card. None of the taxi's take AMEX, so I go back in to find an ATM. There's an officer standing there and I ask him, "Do you speak English?" "Yes" he says. "Can you tell me where an ATM is?" "To the right and then exit." I say, "OK, but where is the ATM?" He looks at me discusted and says "To the right and then exit." The ATM turned out to be the exact opposite direction...
So, I get some cash, pay the taxi driver, arrive at the hotel. My hotel reservation has been changed, but the people that are supposed to be managing the itinerary never told me. The hotel I'm supposed to stay at is half a mile away. Rather than get a taxi, I just walked. By this point, I think if I had to deal with another person, I'd just as well throttle them.
So, I'm finally in a hotel. Woot!
If it was a bummer reading this, sorry. Just wanted to record it for posterity and to help me remember the unreasonable and rediculous treatment I received at the hands of the Israelis.
On the plane, I kept thinking how insignificant it was compared to what Christ endured. Yet, I still had a hard time forgiving those people. I have so far to go...
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